By Jake Waterson

The Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), crashes into the Los Angeles Convention Center once a year in June, leaving gamers and journalists with a glorious look into the future of games and  gaming technology; a whirlwind of information aimed to leave the masses stuffed and satiated for the next year.

This week long event is fired off with several company-specific press conferences, intended to whip public excitement into a frenzy of digital consumption for the following 72 hours of round the clock coverage.

Sony, always seeking to please their avid gaming audience and enhance their crowd-pleasing image, has taken great lengths this year to guarantee a press conference free of all possible awkward and embarrassing moments, presenters, and technical gaffs – a critical issue that has plagued these live conferences since E3 began in 1995.

It’s understandable why Sony is taking drastic measures to curtail any signs of weakness in their two hour stage show. The conference, performed in a large auditorium and streamed online to millions of viewers all over the world, is an audio-visual tour de force, meant to energize the most cynical of hearts with the showcase of cutting edge visuals and gameplay experiences.

Anything that might temper or distort this cinematic deluge of hype would prove very damaging to Sony’s Playstation brand image.

So what steps are they taking?

One Sony spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous for this interview, explained it in curt terms:

“We want the audience frothing at the mouth with excitement before we even start. That’s the kind of company we are, and no limp wristed indie developer is going to taint our rhythm. We are hiring some excellent professionals to ensure all presenters stride onto that stage and go directly for the kill.”

One of these professionals is Max Grinder, a self-coined “Public Speech Artist” and ex-motivational speaker. He is running a seven week class, or as he humorously labels it, a “Grab them by the balls” workshop for public speaking; for anyone that may potentially show their face under the colored lights of Sony’s stage.

Grinder takes no shortcuts in his process to transform soft-spoken and weak willed game developers into stage-owning, audience pleasing personas, worthy of their product:

“It’s no secret that gamers and game developers are not the most socially adept people in the world,” Grinder mentions, “Sony wants to transform this image. They want to grant game developers the Hollywood image of prestige and cool mystique. That won’t happen when presenters are walking out in front of that audience appearing like they’ve just landed from some other planet.”

The workshop covers many aspects including posture, voice projection, timing, appearance, and attitude.

“ No more awkward silences, stammering, profuse sweating, or ill-executed jokes,” Grinder said, in-between large bites of a roast beef sandwich, “Some of these people pussy-foot onto that stage acting like they’ve suddenly sprouted limbs, and have no idea what to do with them. Once the audience senses this awkwardness, you’ve lost them.”

Sony completely agreed with this sentiment:

“ Sure, you can throw out an unannounced game and win the audience back, but when you can tie this all together with great presenters, like our very own Andrew House and Adam Boyes, who exude virility and sex appeal, you’re not just showcasing games, you’re showcasing an attractive image for the game industry as a whole.”

Sitting in on one of Max Grinder’s energetic workshops was a treat. He had participants practicing typical on-stage banter.

From most people, this banter would have sounded incredibly scripted, forced, and wooden. But here, with Grinder’s strict oversight, the participants seemed to actually believe what they were saying, even though it was completely bereft of meaning and substance.

“It’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it; so that the audience just assumes there’s meaning behind it”, Grinder said, snorting a line of cocaine off  a leather couch arm. “I always recommend people watch my TED talks and observe how I draw in the audience and make them hang on my every word. This is the entertainment industry, you’ve got to be a spectacle.”

I talked with a few of the participants in the workshop. One young man, an indie developer, said this experience had greatly transformed his life. Originally soft-spoken and reticent, he now had a new bounce in his step:

“I’m not just making games, I’m making fucking awesome games,” he said. “If I can’t sell my own passion project, what the hell am I doing up there, wasting precious stage time?”

 

I asked Sony what other methods they were employing to improve their conference experience:

“We’re focus testing all our future presenters. We test them on many different parameters including likability, sex appeal, believability, and charisma.”

It was explained to me that focus testing has its limitations, because it can be difficult to decipher opinions:

“If one focus-test group is unanimous in saying that they didn’t like any of the presenters wearing flannel shirts, was that because they don’t like flannel shirts, or because they don’t like the kind of people who wear flannel shirts? It’s sifting through these psychological subtleties that can be tricky.”

Sony also takes detailed observation of audience reactions during their actual conferences:

“We take heat signature readings of the audience to observe whether they’re sufficiently physically stimulated. If they aren’t, what are we doing wrong? We also measure the amount of fluids consumed afterwards to see how well-dehydrated their bodies were.”

However, there are still certain on-stage variables that are not completely controllable:

“When you invite an eccentric game developer from Japan or some other foreign land, you can’t know how they’re going to act once they are in the spotlight. Usually, if they don’t look american and speak in broken english, people are more patient to forgive awkward social cues and poor stage presence.  Same goes for other special appearances, like celebrities, or women.”

Sony’s E3 press conference takes place this year on Monday, June 13^th, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.

Jake Waterson discovered his passion for games journalism after writing a scathing review for Tony Hawk’s Ride on Amazon.com. He has since been on the front lines of the gaming industry, looking for any place he can to focus his critical eye and wield his  unforgiving pen.